Dreams Come True

I have seen God as the Master dream-weaver recently. He has done the imaginably more in my life, which also gives me hints of what is yet to come...I smile just to think of it. While here in Eden, I have been faced with some dreams that are "almost...but not quite". (Where I thought something was "just right for me", only to discover that God had something else--something different in mind.) My apartment is a good example: it seemed perfect until I realized that cockroaches can crawl the walls (particularly the one above my bed), that my neighbors informed my landlord of my whereabouts, and that having your every move watched by others--actually makes you feel less safe--thus I knew I needed to change apartments! So, without a new apartment--just a dream of one, I told my landlord that I was leaving and gave my ten day notice. Day 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, and 5 all passed without an apartment (day 5 was hard as I saw horrible apartment prospects, but luckily enough I caught 5 cockroaches between the hours of 3am and 5am--inciting me to continue the apartment search). But then along came day 4! One street above where I was currently living, the cutest, cheeriest, most "homey" little apartment came across my path (or shall I say, I came across its path), and with prayer--I knew that it was to be mine! God took the "almost" out of my dream as He gave me a NEW apartment that had everything I liked in the old apartment--minus everything I didn't like. And then God used that in my life to encourage me of what He will continue to do in the group here, in the city and country of Eden, and in my own personal life. God is the master dream-weaver, He takes the "almost" out of our dreams and gives the immeasurably more!

Last Tuesday I had the opportunity to share about some of the ways that God recently has encouraged me to dream and step out in the freedom that He has given me. I shared that God has given me the (1) freedom to love--regardless of whether that love is returned, I can be free to love not expecting anything in return; (2) the freedom to be me--no longer having to live up to never satisfied image of the "ideal" or perfect Diane, God has created me to be me and to experience the joy and adventure of discovering and living out all that He has placed in me; and I shared (3) the freedom to abandon our dreams into the hands of God--thus with God as our partner we can trust Him as He directs us and we are no longer solely responsible to realize our dreams--now we can trust Him. It was wonderful to be able to share with the group here and to be able to hear people's dreams and pray with them afterwards. I am getting just a glimpse of the Greatness of all that God dreams for the people I'm with, for this land called "Eden", and for this girl in whom He delights...and God's dreams are good! :)

The Weekend God turned everything to Spring

We gathered together, we played, we prayed, and the 30 of us met with Jesus. It was a beautiful time because just as the frost and the snow melted off from the sidewalks and the rooftops--the coldness, closed-ness, and frost also was melted away from the hearts of those who went. Each of them (including me!) had a fresh touch from our beautiful, wonderful, Creator God. Thank you for your prayers and continued prayers that God will continue to touch, melt, and open up heart here in Eden! One morning, during our "morning encounters with God" we were given the 'assignment' to look around at nature and see what God may want to reveal to you. As I gazed outside, although I am neither a psalmist nor an artist, I felt God tugging at something in my heart. He showed me the melting snow and how when it is melted it not only reveals what is underneath that had remained buried for so long, but also it has the opportunity to have new growth in the places that were previously iced over, in so many ways--it is the same as with our hearts and I saw that weekend God do a "melting" of the snow, frost, and ice that people may have come to the retreat with, I saw Him melt it so that He can bring new growth. And in many ways--this is what I feel is coming to Eden (in the physical and the spiritual): Spring, God bringing new growth. In some ways as writing this--it reminds me of when Spring came to Narnia for the frist time in 100 years...and to that I say--God let it be so here as well!

Accidents, Apartments, and VISAS...Oh My!!

Life comes with it's surprises, which is a good thing, otherwise it might get pretty boring always knowing what will happen next. But then again, there are some surprises that we would not have wished for. I can actually give a few examples for what I mean here. Two weeks ago Friday, I was getting into the backseat of a taxi on the right-hand side. Before I knew what was happening, boom-de-boom-boom! Our taxi (which was stationary before--the motor hadn't even been turned on) was currently in a ditch about 100-200 feet from where I had tried to get in. I was sitting in the taxi--but my hat didn't make the ride, it was back at the scene of the accident where I hit my head on initial impact and then the jolt of the car came and hit me in the back, all within a second (or so it seemed). It was pretty traumatic, I didn't know what to make of it all--and my taxi driver and everyone who asked me how I was...they didn't know what to make of me: the American girl who shed an occasional tear still sitting in the back seat of a now totaled car. But I can honestly say that God protected me BIG TIME. I walked away (which had I tried to get in on the left-hand-side of the car I probably couldn't have done) with only some soreness and a small bruise--nothing broken or fractured. And I am glad to be able to say now that I haven't really felt any discomfort or soreness for a week now! Thank you Jesus! Yet even though the accident was not planned nor wanted, I saw God's hand in and through it. He had even prepared me the night before and that morning by bring worship songs to mind. He is good!

A few surprises came with my apartment--it is everything that I could have wanted (and had prayed for) and more! Big enough to have people over, near by others that I know, and in a safe location! It was perfect! Yet...I also had a surprise there too, I realize that upon moving in, although I am living alone...I am not quite as alone as I had hoped. There are a few big (BIG) bugs that come out from time to time, they crawl, they scurry, and I think one of them just scurried into my bedroom (which means I doubt I'll have a very peaceful night sleep). They are apparently a common bug here in Eden, although I admit--they are not too polite--they just invite themselves in, often through the drains. Their name: (I wince even while writing this) cockroaches. I think I announced myself to my neighbors this afternoon as I saw one and tried to kill it with soapy water (really works!) but it moved--hence my little announcement of my presence to the neighbors (word to the wise: they are not killed by women shrieking). So tomorrow--I bleach EVERYTHING. And hopefully they will realize that not only are they no longer welcome here...but that if they return, I will kill them. (That announcement--I would love for them to pass along to whomever they might know!)

So yes, surprises are not always desirable...but they make life interesting--I now have two more life stories that I didn't have before. But it is all worth it, because I have my VISA which is my legal permission to live in Eden. "Worth it?" one might ask, "you think it's worth it to live in a land that may have cockroach parties while you are sleeping, you think that is all worth it so that you can live there...?" Yes, yes I do. You see, Eden is not made up of car accidents or cockroaches; it is made up of people, many who have become my friends and it is worth it to live with cockroaches (not that I won't try to get rid of them--I will!!) so that I can spend more time with my friends here as we walk together on this life-journey that God has for each of us, this journey to His heart.

Challenged by the Christ-dependent lives of those who have gone before me...

It has almost been one week since I arrived, and I am wowed at how God has met me every step of the way. It is beautiful to serve such an amazing God! I look forward to tomorrow as I meet up with some old friends and I look at some apartments. Yet tonight as I am getting ready for bed--I am challenged both by the words I read today and the movie I saw. And as I try to put myself into the plot of the story...I feel like I fall so short.

Tonight some friends and I watched the movie "End of the Spear" the story of five families whose fathers/husbands were killed while trying to befriend and share love with an Ecuadorian tribe. It was a beautiful depiction of what is truly valuable in life and it challenged my own life in so many ways (most of all I am sure that I am not yet aware of). In it there were many strong people and as I think about it, they were strong because they knew where their strength came from. This movie brought up many questions. "Could I," I wonder, "be like Nate Saint, Jim Elliot, and the other men who forsook their families and missed seeing their children grow up in order to have an opportunity to share Christ's love with this indigenous tribe? Would I have been as strong as Nate Saint's wife and freely let him go knowing that I may never see him again? After the men had been killed by spears, would I have been able to go and live with the tribe as Rachel Saint (Nate's sister) and Elizabeth Elliot (wife of Jim Elliot who was killed) did? Would I have been like Kimo who so eagerly accepted the love and sacrifice of Christ or like Mincaye who allowed guilt and shame hold me back from accepting God's gift of forgiveness and abundant life?" I do not have the answer to all of these questions but I do know this: that I always want to accept what God has for me with child-like glee, never being either a step ahead of God or a step behind Him, but always in step with where He wants me to be; dependent on Him as my source and my strength.

I am delighted that I am here in Eden because (as with the Saint and Elliot families) I, for many, may be their first contact with God's love. The real question is: is it worth it? YES!!! Would I do it again? In a heart beat!! “Show me, LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure" (Ps 39:4-5). And Jim Elliot, one of the five who was killed, stated: "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." I know neither the length of my days nor how fleeting my life is, thus I came. Although I could continue to ask: "could I have been like any of those in the movie?" I do not know that God is asking me to be the next Jim Elliot, but instead--He is asking me to be the Christ-dependent Diane, and that I can be whether it resembles Jim Elliot's, Nate Saint's, Nate's wife's, Nate's sister's, or anyone's life. I know, and am confident that as I am dependent on Him--He will give me the strength to do all that He has called me to do and to be. Lord, let it be so!

My arrival

As I walked out of customs area and through the exit gates, I heard shouts: "Welcome Back Diane!! Whoo-Hoo!!" And at that moment I knew: I had arrived. According to the dictionary, arrived is: "having reached a place at the end of a journey or a stage in a journey" or in my case reached a new chapter in the journey. My flights were good, filled with anticipation and expectation for this next leg of the adventure of my life walk with God. During the flight: I watched a few movies ("Morning Glory" was great!), had fun talking to people on the same flight, and I got through to Eden without a single hitch. My bags passed without having to "re-shuffle" weight at the airport, my seats had plenty of extra room for me to sleep, and my ticket and VISA had no problems. But most importantly--I had arrived!

This year there is a new theme that the team is incorporating in all of our large group gatherings. It is: "Dream Big and Freely for God". When I first heard that, I gasped because that is exactly what God had given me for the country of Eden, the city I'll be in, and the students I'll be investing in; God gave me: (Eph 3:20-21), "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." AMEN!! I am so excited to be a witness to all that God wants to do in Eden this year and this next season.

Being here makes me realize that I not only have returned, but that God prepared the land ahead of time me to come at this time. I have arrived, and it feels good! :)

The Impact of an Influencer...

Influence. Just this past week I found myself in Seaside, Oregon surrounded by pastors in the Oregon Network as we talked about what it means to be an influence. According to the dictionary, to influence is –noun: the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others: He used family influence to get the contract. —Related forms: in·flu·ence·a·ble (adj); in·flu·enc·er (n) When I think of the word "influence" the word "impact" also comes to mind with it often. I think in so many ways--they go hand-in-hand. Those that we influence, most times--we make an impact into their lives. That is the life breathing, giving, out-flowing of discipleship that can happen naturally in the context of genuine relationships.

Today in church, I had the opportunity to share a little more of my story, how God has lead me to where I am, and how God has enabled me and impassioned me to be able to share HIS story. It was beautiful! I love being able to encourage people and share with them how God has had me share and encourage them to share with people around them.

I have been impacted and influenced this week by the thought of how God has placed His most precious story in clay vessels, who in, and of themselves, are ordinary--but because of the story inside of them, they are stunning. That...that is the type of clay vessel that can influence and make an impact on others. It is a clay vessel that is willing to live up to and stand up to the precious story of God's love given through His son which impacts generations. I cannot wait to see how those I invest in, influence, and hopefully impact for God will then turn and become life long influencers making purposeful disciples and impacting every life they touch. That is what I aspire to--Lord do it!

Compelled by love from a God who loved me first!

I just talked with one of my girls tonight who is in Eden--we shared laughs and stories and talked about how we are excited to see one another again! I am going back for her and for others like her that I met, I am compelled by love because I have a Great big God who loved me first! I am still expecting big things from God and am grateful to Him that He left the 99 to get me the 1, and I am excited that I can partner with Him (just as others partner with me) that I too can go for the 1, for the 7--the girls that became my friends as we shared our lives together. Sharing sorrows and joys, we studied God's word together and prayed together--I am compelled to go because He first came compelled by love for me!